Posted: September 13th, 2022

Myths and misconceptions of grief

Myths and misconceptions of grief
Grief is inevitable and all of us have or will experience it at some point in our lives. Surprisingly, despite it being so prevalent, grief is extremely misunderstood. There is a plethora of myths and misconceptions across different cultures surrounding grief. Because of these myths, people around us hold various unrealistic expectations regarding how the process should be. This only makes our grieving process difficult and more challenging than it already is. Below are some of the most common myths and misconceptions that people hold about grief.
1. Women grieve more than men
Gender does not play any role in the grieving process. Grief is a private experience that is unique to everyone and is largely influenced by the type of relationship we had with the deceased and the circumstances surrounding their death. Different people also have varying abilities to cope with grief irrespective of their gender. Women maybe be more open about their feelings than men but this does in any way reflect the extent and impact of grief on us.
2. Crying is a sign of weakness
When we lose a loved one, the experience can be so overwhelming. Some people often misinterpret crying as a sign of weakness. But in reality, crying is a very normal reaction to loss. In fact, crying only shows that you are processing the emotions of grief in a healthy manner.
3. The grieving process follows a linear predictable pattern
According to Dr. Elizabeth Kubler Ross, grief involves five stages namely denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But Dr. Kubler published the stages based on the experienced of the dying and not the bereaved. However, the stages were later applied in grief and found their way through different cultures. But while we may experience all the five stages, it is also worth to note that they do not always occur in any specific pattern. Everyone’s emotions are unique and so is the grieving process.
4. Grief and mourning are the same
While closely related, these two are completely different. Grieving involves the internal thoughts and feelings we experience after losing a loved one. Mourning, on the other hand, is the ability to express our grief externally through crying, talking to others, or remembering the deceased through birthdays and anniversaries.
5. Grief has an end and we eventually “get over it”
The belief that grief comes to an end is utterly ridiculous. We never completely get over grief but rather we learn to process, heal, accept, and live with the loss over time. Also, some people may take longer than others to come to terms with and live with the loss.
Anyone who has grieved a loved one will agree that grief is a complex ordeal. If we accept that people are different and the experience will be unique to each person, we will create an accommodating environment and make the grieving process less intricate.
Holinger, D. P. (2020). The Anatomy of Grief. Yale University Press.
Lloyd, C. (2017). Grief demystified: An introduction. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Stroebe, M., Schut, H., & Boerner, K. (2017). Cautioning health-care professionals: Bereaved persons are misguided through the stages of grief. OMEGA-Journal of death and dying, 74(4), 455-473.

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